Tannhauser ([info]spyinthehaus) wrote,
@ 2005-05-12 18:07:00
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Subterranean Homesick Bluewater
So, Blair supports the ban on hoodies in Bluewater, to nobody's great surprise.

Suspending for a moment a perfectly healthy revulsion at the idea of Bluewater in the first place, how do you feel about this? A sop to Middle England's distrust of anyone poorer than itself, or necessary thugproofing and a continuation of the good sense that precludes motorcycle helmets in banks?

Malls are interesting things, not least in their conception of public space. The spaces between shops, which on a high street are common land, are subject to these mechanisms of control. The commercial utopia of Desert Ridge does not allow photography on its streets, with the single exception of photographs foregrounding a fellow member of a shopping party posing in front of a feature of the beautiiful, relaxing environment. A mall without walls is still a mall...

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[info]satyrica
2005-05-12 10:43 am UTC (link)
and woe betide anyone who tries to sit on the floor in shopping centres . . .

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[info]xxxlibris
2005-05-12 11:58 am UTC (link)
Brit-in-America perspective: from here it seems very odd. Hoodies are ubiquitous around these parts, but (it seems to me at least) no-one seems to wear them with the deliberate intention of obscuring their face, which seems to be what the Bluewater fuss is about. Don't know if there's less CCTV here (seems unlikely).

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[info]fridgemagnet
2005-05-13 02:43 am UTC (link)
It's not what the fuss is about really, the fuss is about people being afraid of teenagers, and the government and papers looking for new scare targets. Bluewater are just responding to that. The CCTV thing is just an excuse.

I think there's less CCTV in general in the States but in malls, not much difference I would have said.

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[info]huskyteer
2005-05-12 03:27 pm UTC (link)
But Bluewater is great! I bet you've never even been, you hopeless suburbanite.

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[info]spyinthehaus
2005-05-12 05:08 pm UTC (link)
Point. When I do, however, I intend to do so in a hoodie.

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[info]slightlyfoxed
2005-05-13 02:33 am UTC (link)
A tweed three piece hoodie.

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[info]holzfallen
2005-05-13 09:58 am UTC (link)
Starched, detachable hood.

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[info]xxxlibris
2005-05-13 10:03 am UTC (link)
Seen last weekend: a hoodie tuxedo jacket (hood actually as part of jacket, not as later attachment). A few sizes too small for me sadly.

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[info]squirmelia
2005-05-13 01:42 am UTC (link)
I quite like Bluewater and the creamy dreamy roses.

Prefer it when it is empty of people though, so best if they ban all people from going there.

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[info]fridgemagnet
2005-05-13 02:45 am UTC (link)
That sounds like the start of a zombie film.

(calming music playing on PA)

(close-up of bunch of dreamy roses)

(decomposing hand smashes up through plant pot)

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[info]blahflowers
2005-05-13 04:15 am UTC (link)
What about the zombie clubbers at the start of Shaun of the Dead?

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[info]squirmelia
2005-05-13 04:11 pm UTC (link)
This document seems to contain the poems that adorn the walls:

http://www.bluewater.co.uk/webfiles/pdfs/StudentPackWebsite.pdf

'Tangled, spangled roses, rioting at will'

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[info]booklectic
2005-05-13 02:47 am UTC (link)
It seems to me like banning trenchcoats in Amercian schools - it's not exactly addressing the problem, if there is one. But I haven't read any of the news articles about it.

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[info]thekumquat
2005-05-13 03:29 am UTC (link)
The saner ones are saying that only the hoods need to be down, so that the face isn't obscured. Rather like motorcyclists need to remove helmets, which doesn't seem to have caused a revolution.

Hey, Harrods has banned jeans and trainers since ever, and no-one seems to think that newsworthy.

Bluewater's a private space and can ban whoever it likes, hoodie or no hoodie. The creeping lack of public places, eg outside stores where people can protest, is an issue I'd like to see discussed more.

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(Anonymous)
2005-05-13 03:33 am UTC (link)
Ah, but in order to ensure that people can't go around with their hoods up, you have to minimise the amount of public space available in which one can mask one's features. Ultimately, this is one step closer to achieving my dream of imposing a strict dress code on London. Two-piece suits will be alllowed, but only on dress-down Friday.

- Haus

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[info]ill_prezidante
2005-05-13 04:43 am UTC (link)
Will that require a cravat?

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[info]booklectic
2005-05-13 03:43 am UTC (link)

Bluewater's a private space and can ban whoever it likes

Not completely, surely? Imagine them trying to ban crosses, or burkhas.

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[info]xxxlibris
2005-05-13 10:06 am UTC (link)
I think so, yes. If it's along the sames lines that I'm thinking of, it'd be similar to you, M and S (and H) banning anyone in your house from wearing "I Hate Musicals" t-shirts; entirely within your rights.

I may be absolutely wrong here though; others, feel free to correct.

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[info]blahflowers
2005-05-13 04:19 am UTC (link)
It's a bit kind of
(some) teenagers cause trouble in Bluewater
(some) teenagers wear hoodies
THEREFORE
ban hoodies = no more trouble. Which is dumb.

Is the ban on hoodies or youths in hoodies? Because if it's the latter I'd be tempted for a bunch of us to go along in hoodies and see if we get let in or not.

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[info]ill_prezidante
2005-05-13 04:42 am UTC (link)
How soon do you think it will be before some anarcho channel 4 comedianist dresses up a bunch of grannies in hoodies and caps to terrorise the mall by happy-slapping teenagers and representing bling up and down?

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[info]mercedes_baxter
2005-05-13 05:09 am UTC (link)

Those sort of teenagers that will be affected are in a ridiculous wilderness - if they were five or ten years older they'd be lounging around in a pub somewhere, beating their girlfriends or gambling, rather than loitering about in cancerous malls. They're the adolescent spawn of the dregs of society. Any teenager with intelligence despises these people and resents being labelled with them. It's too bad they're illiterate, innumerate, too stupid to be interested in books, music or art. Not that anyone cares about that though, it's just a scummy ruse to entertain Middle England.

Hoodies will go out of fashion within two years anyway.

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(Anonymous)
2005-05-13 05:29 am UTC (link)
if they were five or ten years older they'd be lounging around in a pub somewhere, beating their girlfriends or gambling

Or finishing their degrees, although those degrees may be in rather unenlightening subjects. Certainly, poverty breeds poverty, and poverty of intent breeds poverty of intent. It seems that a more sensible way of going about things might be to give these teenagers something else to do rather than hang around malls, hooded or otherwise. Getting them interested in music, art or books might be one way of going about it, but perhaps it would lower the intellectual property values around here...

What does strike me is the specificity of the prohibition. Hooded tops with the hood up (which make identification by CCTV difficult) are verboten, but how about a snappy fedora?

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[info]mercedes_baxter
2005-05-16 02:21 pm UTC (link)
A snappy fedora? Now that would be absolutely topping! Like Warren Beatty in «Bonnie & Clyde»? And kerchiefs and berets for the girlzz ala Faye Dunawaye?

I've nothing against kleptomania (not least my own) - so long as it's performed with flair and sartorial taste.

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[info]notbbcnews24
2005-05-13 05:58 am UTC (link)
Fedoras are fine, as are deerstalkers bowlers and skullcaps, a mitre, by contrast, would be merely ostentatious - this is an aesthetic movement to get people to wear more imaginative hats - surely something we can all support...

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[info]holzfallen
2005-05-13 10:01 am UTC (link)
Burberry tracksuits and sombreros.

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[info]xxxlibris
2005-05-13 10:08 am UTC (link)
I love the thought that, if hoodies are banned, the next logical step in the face-covering process is gigantic sequinned sombreros...

Sequins to reflect light into the face of victims, thus disabling them of course

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[info]spyinthehaus
2005-05-13 05:13 pm UTC (link)
Gloriously, it turns out that one of the other prohibitions of this zero tolerance approach to antisocial behaviour is any group of five or more people who have no intention of shopping.

This is on crack in a sublime fashion.

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